David Given Schwarm

The last D&D Podcast had this random comment from one of the art directors that one of the Ampersand artists was in a relationship with a “D&D Goob”.

It was clearly meant to be playful and endearing.

I heard it very differently.

Now, if it had come from Shelly or Greg, I likely would not have even noticed–but the Art Director had previously said several things that made it clear she was not “one of us” and so her comment struck me with the force of a 9th grade hallway slam–if you know what I mean.

Some Art Kid calling anyone a Goob immediately triggers me and I really wish it did not. I get defensive. It makes me mad–I want to strike back and shame them, and taunt them, and explain to them that they do not know what it was like growing up playing D&D…The way in which playful and endearing can switch to mean and exclusionary.

And I have no idea where I am getting this “one of us” feeling–sounds like some Fake Geek Girl conspiracy or Anti-Cosplay idiot response…Right Fun…I mean The Art Director’s likely had a lot more crap in their life then I have had in mine & for me to get all prickly over this is just lame…

But it is not going away…

And I *know* I am being hyper over sensitive to this at some level. And I wish I could let this go–but I am literally thinking about it a lot & hoping a blog post may help is likely the worst form of desperation, but but but…

I am tired of being called names.

I have been tired of it since 1982. I am not a nerd, geek, goob, or anything else. When the Deadpool movie comes out I do not need a lot of articles explaining what it means to be nerdy… Articles on how to have a Geek Valentine’s Day are not helping…

I am tired of it & I am struggling to come up with a creative response…