David Given Schwarm

Demographers have been noting the decreasing size of families in industrialized nations for decades. They pin it on everything from rising education rates among women to the decrease in family famring. But I know the real culprit: With skyrocketing number of baby names to pick from, would-e parents avoid having children because they can’t decide what to name the things.

As you birth your cast of characters this week, you can reduce the naming stress by simply borrowing monikers from the Great Library of Character Names. It’s published annually by your phone company; look for the large white book on your shelf next to the Yello Pages.